Witshit finds the truth behind natural disasters on Twitter

Earthquakes, Hurricanes, Snow storms, Tsunamis and Erupting volcanoes!

What is common between these?

They all have trended on Twitter at one time or the other.

Sensing a pattern here and being a part-time detective, I decided to hunt for the truth going undercover as a successful investor interested in purchasing an IPL team.

During my investigation I came across Sherlock Holmes and the guy from CID. They were also on the case. Sherlock was pretty confident that some Professor with a feminine name was causing these natural disasters. The guy from CID thought it was a big plot to kidnap and murder a rich Indian industrialist’s teenage daughter. They sounded clueless as usual. Since I had no theories, I decided to go to Bangalore for a tweetup.

Since none of the Twitter celebrity were interested in talking to me, I went up to this dude from Wipro with so much white hair on his head that I could not concentrate on what he was saying.

But I did hear the phrase “world domination” twice. It could have also been “prize nomination”. But that is not important. The important thing is this guy at a Tweetup in Bangalore was talking about world domination. It made perfect sense to me. It had to be this white haired guy who was causing all these natural disasters and then getting them to trend on Twitter.

I tried calling the guy from CID to have him arrested but he was in the bathroom at that time. He had eaten some bad vada-pav from the streets of Mumbai and it was going to take him a while to get back to normal.

I then called Sherlock who was, how do I say this, busy with that Irene Adler woman. He never understands that she just uses him. I need to teach him so much about women.

So I called the Mafia to ‘wack’ this white haired guy but they said I was insane. I know I’m not insane because I took a Facebook quiz that said I was not insane at the end.

So I decided that it was going to be the end of the world soon. This white haired guy is just going to cause so many natural disasters that all of us are going to die.

My dying wish has always been to finish the entire GrandTheft Auto series in one sitting without going to the bathroom. So I came back home to do that.

I finished it. I was in the bathroom for two days after that.

Now I am waiting for natural disasters to trend on Twitter.

By the way, I ended up buying all the teams in the IPL by accident during my time as an undercover investor. A bunch of pissed-off people are looking for a very rich investor. They have no clue who it is.