Inspired by the success of Ghana in FIFA world cup after they imposed a sex ban, the Indian cricket team’s coach Gary Kirsten has decided to do the same with Dhoni and company.
Coach Kirsten said in a press conference, “Yes it’s true that i have proposed a lifetime sex ban because that is the only way they will have some energy left to do anything on the field.”
Dhoni's only option after sex ban is imposed
Dhoni and company were very depressed on this decision and a frustrated Dhoni addressed the press saying, “I feel Gary Kirsten is a moron. I mean his advices are oxymoron. Only last month he advised all of us to have sex before match and now he is imposing a life time sex ban. All my Japani Tael will go waste. I have already paid in advance to many hookers for their yearly plans. If this sex ban is made a compulsion I expect BCCI to give me compensation.”
Kim Sharma, who was recently spotted with Yuvraj Singh again, said in a deep frustrated voice, “They impose bans like these and when we are caught in scandals doing it with random people, they blame it on us.”
Yuvraj Singh broke in tears and narrated his sad story, “To hell with this sex ban. All these years my friends called me gay cause I never had a girlfriend. I got into cricket, practiced day and night so that I have girls around me. Now this ban will kill my passion for cricket.”
Gary Kirsten is unmoved by the protest and has already floated tender for male chastity belts for the whole team.
The 2 Models of the Chastity Belts Proposed
Meanwhile, all the babas and sanyasi‘s were very happy with Kirsten’s decision.